Dr. Darcy Smith on femme vs. butch | GO Magazine

Dr. Darcy:

I am a femme and have always been told that I seem ‘straight’, whatever it means. When I check-out lesbian taverns I am terminated as ‘bi-curious’ or even the ‘friend-of-a-lesbian’ woman. I have two questions:

1) really does getting a lesbian indicate that i have to butch my self upwards to become given serious attention?

2) Are there various other women that are into manner, hip restaurants, and who’re essentially stylish brand new Yorkers, for whom becoming gay isn’t their unique whole identity?

It’s not just you!

I had this question posed to me again and again. It isn’t really effortless in a community and sensation hidden, but altering your appearance does not have to be the solution. I’m not stating I never had a Brittany minute in which I questioned the necessity of long hair, the need for yet another pair of Manolos, and also the possible modification dropping both could have to my experience in this society. But as I’ve said before, the way to change a stereotype is not through conformity. The feminist movement ended up being meant to provide us with alternatives, not limit all of them.

However, I do believe there are other lesbian and bisexual women that have various passions including patronizing the “webpage Six” organizations and spending obscene amounts of cash to sit down in camping tents of Fashion day. As a resident New Yorker, my personal suggestion would be to look-in this very journal for club-like locations, and that is the place you will undoubtedly find femmes in numbers!

At the same time, buy for yourself a season of

The L Word

, throw-on that facial mask which you have never time for, and enjoy the validation your characters provide to those who are who’re femme for the key. Merely to end up being safe, get rid of the buzzer when you yourself have one, least you are in a weak time.

Email questions to dr.darcysmith@gmail.com or contact 212-604-0144*

*By distributing questions, the writer acknowledges that this lady has no legal rights of confidentiality and this her concern of a version thereof might published in GO Magazine.  Communication between Dr. Darcy Smith and an author doesn’t represent a therapeutic connection and these a relationship therefore the rights/privileges connected with such can only just be established through a scheduled, personally treatment.